Holidays and Holiday Stress, part deux

You may not be singing Christmas carols or roasting chestnuts on a roasting fire. The holidays are stressful for many due to unresolved conflict and grief. Loss of loved ones over the year can be especially trying as experiencing the inevitable “firsts” of the year can often invoke painful memories. It is so important to give yourself the time to grieve and process through these emotions. Some key points to remember…

1. It’s alright to cry or to feel sad. Some days will be better than others. On a bad day, give yourself permission to “cope” with these feelings. Save some activities that you can enjoy in solitude. If you find yourself getting “stuck” in grief, then start scheduling a sad time or times during the day. Tell yourself that you will be sad at 2:00, for example, and the practice holding those thoughts until the scheduled hour.
2. Plan something hopeful for the future. There is no better way to look forward than to plan something fun or different to do.
3. Let family and friends know how you are feeling. Be mindful that many have good intentions, even if they don’t often have the best choice of words.
4. Take some time to discover a new passion or hobby.
5. Above all, just breathe and take things in increments that you can handle.

Finally, find someone that you can talk to and confide in such as a counselor, therapist, rabbi or pastor. And when you are ready, your future will be ready and waiting for you…